What does Ephesians 4:31-32 really mean?

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.


Setting the Scene for Ephesians 4:31-32

In Ephesians chapter 4, we find the apostle Paul writing to the church in Ephesus, urging them to live a life worthy of their calling as followers of Christ. As we delve into verses 31-32, we are transported to a scene where the members of the early Christian community in Ephesus have gathered together for a time of reconciliation and forgiveness.

The room is dimly lit by oil lamps, casting a warm glow on the faces of those present. Among them are Lydia, a wealthy merchant who was one of the first converts in the city, and Onesimus, a former slave who found freedom and redemption in Christ. They have come together, along with other members of the church, to address the conflicts and grievances that have arisen among them.

As Paul’s words are read aloud, the atmosphere in the room shifts from tension to one of humility and grace. Tears are shed, apologies are offered, and forgiveness is extended. The air is heavy with the weight of past hurts being released, replaced by a sense of unity and love that can only come from the Spirit of God working in their midst. In this moment, they embody the exhortation of Paul to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

What is Ephesians 4:31-32 about?

This verse speaks to the importance of forgiveness and letting go of negative emotions such as bitterness and anger. It draws a parallel between the way God forgives us and how we should forgive others. When we hold onto grudges and resentment, not only does it weigh us down emotionally and spiritually, but it also creates barriers in our relationships with others. We free ourselves from the burden of carrying around negative emotions and open ourselves up to healing and peace by forgiving others.

Have you ever experienced the release that comes with forgiveness? It’s a powerful act of letting go of the hurt and pain that someone else has caused us. Just as God extends His forgiveness to us despite our imperfections, we are called to do the same for others. It involves a shift in perspective, moving from a place of resentment to one of empathy and understanding. Choosing forgiveness uplifts ourselves and creates space for reconciliation and growth in our relationships. So, the next time you find yourself holding onto bitterness and anger, remember the profound gift of forgiveness and the freedom it brings.

Understanding what Ephesians 4:31-32 really means

To provide a structured and insightful commentary on Ephesians 4:31-32, let’s break it down into clear sections: Context, Exegesis, Cross-References, Contemporary Relevance, and Personal Application.


Ephesians 4:31-32 is part of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, a text that emphasizes unity and the ethical life of a Christian. Paul addresses how believers should behave, especially in their interactions with others in this chapter. This advice comes within a larger discourse on living a life worthy of the calling received as Christians, underscoring the importance of embodying Christ’s love and purity.


The phrases “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” call for a thorough cleansing of negative emotions and behaviors. Paul is not just advising against occasional outbursts but advocating for a deep-rooted transformation. Each term—bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, malice—represents various ways in which internal negativity can manifest outwardly, damaging relationships and community.

The subsequent verse, “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” provides the antidote to the previously mentioned vices. Kindness, compassion, and forgiveness are not just moral virtues but acts reflecting the divine grace believers themselves have received. This establishes a direct link between divine forgiveness and human conduct.


Several other passages in the Bible reinforce these teachings. For example, Colossians 3:13 echoes the necessity of forgiveness, urging believers to forgive as the Lord forgave them. Similarly, Matthew 6:14-15 highlights the importance of forgiveness in the Lord’s Prayer. These cross-references emphasize that forgiveness and compassion are central to Christian life and community. The call to “be kind and compassionate” is more relevant than ever in today’s world, where divisiveness and anger often run high. Social media platforms, workplace environments, and even family gatherings can become arenas of conflict and misunderstanding. Paul’s advice invites us to rise above these tensions and reflect Christ’s love in our actions. Two colleagues frequently clash in a workplace, leading to a toxic environment. One of the colleagues can transform the dynamic, fostering a more positive and productive atmosphere by choosing to let go of bitterness and instead practicing kindness and forgiveness. This shift not only benefits the individuals involved but also the entire team. We must ask ourselves as readers and believers: Have bitterness or anger taken root in areas of our lives? How can we actively practice kindness and forgiveness in our daily interactions? Reflecting on these questions can lead to profound personal and communal growth.

The call to forgive “just as in Christ God forgave you” serves as a powerful reminder of the grace we have received. This grace is not just a gift to be cherished but also a model for our behavior. By embodying these virtues, we honor God and contribute to a more loving and harmonious world. Ephesians 4:31-32 challenges us to cleanse our hearts of negativity and embrace virtues that reflect God’s love. It calls us to a higher standard of living, one that promotes unity and peace, both in our personal lives and in our communities.

How can I show kindness and forgiveness to others?

One way to show kindness and forgiveness to others, as mentioned in Ephesians 4:31-32, is by letting go of bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and all types of malice. Instead, we should be kind and compassionate towards one another, forgiving others just as God has forgiven us. When we release negative emotions and choose to forgive, we are showing kindness by not holding grudges or seeking revenge.

Another way to demonstrate kindness and forgiveness in line with this verse is to approach conflicts with a heart of understanding and empathy. We can cultivate a spirit of forgiveness and extend grace even when it may be difficult by seeking to comprehend the perspectives and feelings of others. This kind of attitude promotes reconciliation and fosters harmony in relationships, leading to a more compassionate and loving community. Reflecting on the mercy and forgiveness that we have received from God can help us show kindness and forgiveness to others. When we recognize the magnitude of God’s grace towards us, it humbles our hearts and motivates us to extend the same grace to those who have wronged us. We can exemplify God’s love through acts of kindness and forgiveness, promoting peace and unity in our interactions with others.


Think of life as a team project at work or a family gathering. Just like you wouldn’t let resentment or harsh words spoil the teamwork, let’s clear out bitterness and anger from our hearts. Be kind, tender, and forgiving, just as you’d want others to be with you. Can you take the step today to make these changes and transform your relationships?