What the Bible Says About the Head of Household

In the Bible, the head of household typically refers to the male leader and provider of the family, often seen as responsible for the spiritual and moral guidance of the household, as exemplified in passages like Ephesians 5:23. This role encompasses leadership, protection, and care for family members, reflecting a structure of authority meant to foster a harmonious home.

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Scripture

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
30 because we are members of his body.
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33

Biblical Definition of Head of Household

The biblical definition of the head of household encompasses a multifaceted role that extends beyond mere authority and provision. In Ephesians 5:23, the text states, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” This verse illustrates that the role of the head of the household is deeply tied to the principles of love, sacrifice, and servitude, mirroring Christ’s relationship with the Church. According to this perspective, the head of household is not solely a dictator or a figure of authority; instead, he is called to embody a servant-leader model, prioritizing the well-being and spiritual growth of each family member.

Furthermore, in Proverbs 22:6, the importance of guiding children is underscored with the advice to “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” This indicates that the head of household plays a crucial role in nurturing and educating the family in values and faith. Additionally, 1 Timothy 5:8 emphasizes the responsibility of the head of the household to provide for his family, stating, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Collectively, these verses reflect a broader theological framework that establishes the head of the household not just as a figure of authority but as a protector, educator, and spiritual leader, responsible for fostering a loving and faith-centered family environment.

The concept of the head of household, as understood in a biblical context, also finds resonance in the family dynamics portrayed in Genesis, where the initial roles within the family unit are defined. In the creation narrative, the role of Adam as the first man is depicted in a protective and pioneering light, symbolizing the responsibility of the head of household to cultivate not only the physical realm but also to nurture a deep relationship with God. His stewardship over Eden reflects the idea that the head must actively engage in maintaining and nurturing both the material and spiritual welfare of the household. This foundational principle emphasizes a proactive approach to leadership that combines duty with a deep sense of responsibility toward God’s creation and the family unit.

Moreover, the head of household is often associated with the moral and ethical instruction of the family. In the Old Testament, particularly in Deuteronomy, we encounter directives that emphasize a father’s role in instilling the commandments within the hearts of his children. Families are called to engage in constant dialogue about faith and obedience, illustrating an active involvement in the spiritual education of offspring. This ongoing exhortation reveals the expectant nature of the head of household, delineating a path that is not merely about enforcing rules but about creating an environment where faith is lived out daily. Thus, this role is clearly depicted as one that demands character, dedication, and a model of faithfulness that members of the household can observe and emulate.

Spiritual Leadership and Guidance

In the biblical context, the head of the household is often seen as a spiritual leader. This role encompasses guiding family members in their faith, instilling moral values, and fostering a home environment that prioritizes spiritual growth. The head of the household is responsible for teaching and modeling a life of faith, ensuring that the family adheres to spiritual principles and practices.

Responsibility and Provision

Another significant aspect of the head of household is the responsibility for providing for the family’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. This includes not only financial support but also creating a safe and nurturing environment. The head of the household is expected to make decisions that benefit the family as a whole, demonstrating care and foresight in managing resources and relationships.

Authority and Accountability

The head of the household holds a position of authority, which comes with the responsibility of accountability. This authority is not meant to be exercised in a domineering manner but rather as a servant leader who prioritizes the well-being of the family. The head is accountable to God for the family’s welfare and is expected to lead with integrity, wisdom, and love, fostering a sense of unity and respect within the household.

How to Embrace Christlike Leadership and Responsibility

Embracing Christlike leadership and responsibility is a transformative journey that calls us to reflect on the heart of Jesus in our daily interactions and decisions. It begins with humility—recognizing that true leadership is not about authority or power, but about serving others with love and compassion. As you seek to lead like Christ, immerse yourself in prayer and Scripture, allowing His teachings to shape your character and guide your actions. Remember, Jesus washed the feet of His disciples, demonstrating that the greatest leaders are those who are willing to serve. Take responsibility for your actions and decisions, acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, and be open to learning from others. Surround yourself with a community of fellow believers who can encourage and challenge you, and strive to be a beacon of hope and integrity in your sphere of influence. By embodying these principles, you not only grow in your own faith but also inspire those around you to seek a deeper relationship with Christ.

Bible References to Head of Household:

Colossians 3:18-21: 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

1 Peter 3:1-7: 3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Timothy 3:1-7: 1 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.
2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,
3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive,
5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?
6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil.
7 Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

1 Timothy 5:8: 8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Titus 2:1-8: 1 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine.
2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,
4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.
7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,
8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Genesis 2:18-24: 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.
20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field.
21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Joshua 24:14-15: 14 “Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord.”
15 And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Proverbs 31:10-31: 10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

1 Corinthians 11:3-12: 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head,
5 but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven.
6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head.
7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man.
8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man.
9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.
11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman;
12 For as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9: 4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

1 Samuel 1:1-28: 1 There was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim of the hill country of Ephraim whose name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, an Ephrathite.
2 He had two wives. The name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other, Peninnah. And Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.
3 Now this man used to go up year by year from his city to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord.
4 On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters.
5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb.
6 And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb.
7 So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat.
8 And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”
9 After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord.
10 She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly.
11 And she vowed a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”
12 As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth.
13 Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman.
14 And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.”
15 But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord.
16 Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.”
17 Then Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.”
18 And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.
19 They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her.
20 And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, “I have asked for him from the Lord.”
21 The man Elkanah and all his house went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and to pay his vow.
22 But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, so that he may appear in the presence of the Lord and dwell there forever.”
23 And Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you; wait until you have weaned him; only, may the Lord establish his word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him.
24 And when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and she brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh.
25 Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli.
26 And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord.
27 For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him.
28 Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

Acts 16:29-34: 29 And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas.
30 Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”
31 And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”
32 And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house.
33 And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family.
34 Then he brought them up into his house and set food before them. And he rejoiced along with his entire household that he had believed in God.

Matthew 19:4-6: 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

1 Corinthians 7:1-16: 1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.
7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.
9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband.
11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.
13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?