What the Bible Says About Submission in Marriage

In the Bible, submission in marriage is primarily defined as the voluntary yielding of one partner to the other, as exemplified in Ephesians 5:22-24, where wives are instructed to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ. This concept emphasizes mutual respect, love, and service within the marital relationship, highlighting that both spouses are called to support and honor one another.

Couple-in-harmonious-embrace-symbolizing-mutual-respect-and-love-soft-lighting-serene-atmosphere-_ghdv

Scripture

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
30 because we are members of his body.
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33

Biblical Meaning of Submission in Marriage

The biblical idea of submission in marriage extends beyond a simplistic hierarchical structure; rather, it embodies a profound mutual interdependence and commitment to one another, grounded in love and respect. In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul elaborates that while wives are called to submit to their husbands, the condition for this submission is deeply rooted in the husband’s role to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. This sacrificial love entails giving oneself for the well-being of the spouse, reflecting a reciprocal relationship where both partners prioritize each other’s needs. Thus, the concept of submission becomes a dynamic collaboration, where the act of yielding is not seen as weakness but as a powerful expression of love, purpose, and unity within the marriage.

Furthermore, the idea of submission is paralleled in Colossians 3:18-19, where the exhortations are directed towards both wives and husbands, illustrating that submission should emerge from love, not coercion. This is reinforced by Philippians 2:3-4, which calls for humility and consideration of others’ needs above one’s own, fostering an environment of mutual submission. Therefore, the biblical definition of submission transforms into an invitation for both spouses to embody Christ-like humility and service, cultivating a nurturing and supportive home where each partner flourishes. This understanding shifts the focus from a perceived dominance to a shared partnership infused with divine love and grace.

In examining the biblical meaning of submission in marriage, it is crucial to highlight the emphasis on sacrificial leadership found in the Scriptures. The concept is echoed in 1 Peter 3:1-7, where Peter calls on wives to submit to their husbands, but importantly, he also addresses husbands by urging them to honor their wives as the weaker vessel and to live with them in an understanding manner. This instruction establishes an equilibrium where the husband’s understanding and consideration serve as the foundation for a healthy, loving partnership. In this way, submission is not merely a woman’s duty, but an integral part of a mutual respect that flourishes in a marriage committed to serving one another.

Moreover, the heart of submission can be further seen in the model presented in the Song of Solomon, which celebrates the beauty of love, desire, and mutual respect between spouses. The passionate exchanges between the beloved and her lover reflect a relationship built on reciprocal admiration and deep emotional connection. Here, submission is less about authority and more about expressing vulnerability and an open heart, where each partner feels cherished and valued. Therefore, in the biblical context, true submission fosters a bond where both spouses actively seek each other’s growth and well-being, creating a sacred space for love to thrive, and ultimately drawing each partner closer to God’s design for marriage.

Mutual Respect and Honor

In the biblical context, submission in marriage is not merely about one partner yielding to the other; it encompasses a deeper principle of mutual respect and honor. Each spouse is called to recognize the inherent value and dignity of the other, fostering an environment where both individuals feel valued and cherished. This mutual respect creates a foundation for healthy communication and decision-making, allowing both partners to contribute their perspectives and strengths to the relationship.

Servant Leadership

Another significant aspect of submission in marriage is the concept of servant leadership. The biblical model encourages husbands to lead their families with love, humility, and a willingness to serve. This means that leadership is not about exerting authority or control but rather about guiding and supporting one another in a way that reflects Christ’s love. In this dynamic, submission becomes a shared journey where both partners prioritize the well-being of the other, leading to a harmonious and fulfilling partnership.

Spiritual Unity and Growth

Submission in marriage also signifies a commitment to spiritual unity and growth. When both partners submit to one another and to God, they create a space for spiritual development and shared faith experiences. This mutual submission fosters an environment where both individuals can grow closer to God and to each other, encouraging accountability, prayer, and shared values. As they navigate life’s challenges together, their bond strengthens, reflecting the divine purpose of marriage as a partnership rooted in faith and love.

How to Cultivate Mutual Respect in Your Christian Walk

Cultivating mutual respect in your Christian walk is essential for fostering genuine relationships that reflect Christ’s love. Start by actively listening to others, valuing their perspectives, and acknowledging their feelings, even when you disagree. Remember, Jesus taught us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31), which means treating others with the same kindness and consideration we desire. Practice humility by recognizing that everyone is on their own journey, and we all have room to grow. Engage in open and honest conversations, and be willing to apologize when necessary, as this demonstrates strength and integrity. Surround yourself with a community that encourages respect and accountability, and pray for the wisdom to see others through God’s eyes. By embodying these principles, you not only deepen your relationships but also shine a light on the transformative power of Christ in your life.

Bible References to Submission in Marriage:

Colossians 3:18-19: 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

1 Peter 3:1-7: 3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Titus 2:3-5: 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,
4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

1 Corinthians 7:1-5: 1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Genesis 2:18-24: 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.
20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field.
21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Proverbs 31:10-31: 10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

1 Timothy 2:11-15: 11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.
12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.
13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve.
14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.
15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

Matthew 19:4-6: 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

1 Corinthians 11:3-12: 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head,
5 but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven.
6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head.
7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man.
8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man.
9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.
11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman;
12 For as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.