What the Bible Says About Love: Understanding Its True Meaning and What It Isn’t

Biblical love, particularly as expressed in passages like 1 Corinthians 13, is characterized by selflessness, patience, kindness, and unconditional commitment. In contrast, worldly love often focuses on self-interest, fleeting emotions, or conditional affection, lacking the depth and permanence of agape love as shown in Scripture.

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Scripture

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Biblical Love: Understanding and Contrasts

Biblical love, particularly exemplified in 1 Corinthians 13, transcends mere emotional attachment or desire; it embodies the essence of agape love, which emphasizes selflessness and an unwavering commitment to the well-being of others. The chapter outlines qualities such as patience, kindness, and humility, asserting that true love is not self-seeking or easily angered (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). This divine love reflects God’s nature, as seen in passages like John 3:16, where God’s love is demonstrated through the sacrifice of His Son for humanity’s salvation, highlighting that biblical love is rooted in action and purpose rather than sentimentality.

In sharp contrast, worldly love tends to be contingent and self-serving, often driven by personal desires or the pursuit of temporary pleasures. Scriptures such as James 4:1-2 underscore this notion, pointing out that conflicts arise from unmet desires and passions, indicating a form of love that is more about taking than giving. While it may appear joyful or passionate, this kind of love often lacks the endurance and authenticity that define true biblical love. The distinction between these two forms of love underscores a spiritual call to embody the principles of biblical love in our relationships, advocating for a selfless, enduring connection that mirrors Christ’s unconditional love for humanity.

The Greek word often associated with biblical love is “agape” (ἀγάπη). This term is frequently used in the New Testament to describe a selfless, unconditional love that is characterized by a deep sense of care and commitment. Etymologically, “agape” is derived from the verb “agapao” (ἀγαπάω), which means to love in a way that is not based on feelings or emotions but rather on a decision to care for others. Scholars such as C.S. Lewis in his work “The Four Loves” have explored the distinctions between different types of love, emphasizing that agape transcends mere affection or romantic love, which are represented by other Greek terms like “eros” (erotic love) and “philia” (brotherly love).

The concept of agape is significant in Christian theology, as it reflects the nature of God’s love for humanity. Theologians like John Storge have noted that agape is not only a characteristic of divine love but also serves as a model for how individuals should love one another. This self-giving love is often contrasted with more transactional or conditional forms of love, highlighting the transformative power of agape in fostering community and reconciliation. The emphasis on agape in the New Testament encourages believers to embody this love in their relationships, promoting a sense of unity and compassion that is foundational to Christian ethics.

The Nature of Agape Love

Biblical love, particularly the concept of agape, is characterized by selflessness, unconditionality, and a commitment to the well-being of others. This form of love transcends mere emotional attachment or romantic feelings; it is a deliberate choice to act in the best interest of others, often at a personal cost. Agape love is not contingent upon the worthiness of the recipient but is a reflection of the giver’s character and commitment to God’s principles. This understanding of love emphasizes the importance of compassion, mercy, and grace, which are central to the teachings of the Bible.

The Contrast with Worldly Love

In contrast to biblical love, worldly love often focuses on self-interest, conditionality, and emotional gratification. This type of love can be fleeting and is frequently based on external factors such as physical attraction, social status, or personal gain. Worldly love may lead to relationships that are transactional rather than transformational, lacking the depth and commitment found in agape love. The Bible highlights these contrasts to encourage believers to pursue a love that mirrors divine qualities, fostering deeper connections and a more profound sense of community and belonging.

The Call to Love in Action

Understanding biblical love also involves recognizing that love is not merely a feeling but an action that requires intentionality and effort. The biblical narrative calls individuals to demonstrate love through service, sacrifice, and forgiveness. This active expression of love challenges believers to move beyond passive affection and engage in behaviors that uplift and support others. By embodying love in action, individuals reflect the character of God and fulfill the command to love one another, thereby creating a more compassionate and just society.

How to Embrace Love for a Better Christian Life

Embracing love as a cornerstone of your Christian life is truly transformative, and it begins with understanding that love is not just an emotion but a deliberate choice and action. Reflect on 1 Corinthians 13, where Paul beautifully describes love as patient, kind, and selfless. Start by practicing small acts of kindness in your daily interactions—whether it’s offering a listening ear to a friend in need or showing compassion to a stranger. Remember, love is often most powerful in the mundane moments of life. Additionally, immerse yourself in prayer and scripture, asking God to fill your heart with His love so that it overflows into your relationships. As you cultivate this love, you’ll find that it not only enriches your own spirit but also draws others closer to Christ through your example. Let love be your guiding principle, and watch how it transforms your journey as a Christian.

Bible References to Love and Its Contrasts:

1 John 4:7-21: 7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.
10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.
14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.
15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.
16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.
18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
19 We love because he first loved us.
20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.
21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Romans 12:9-21: Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

John 15:9-17: 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.
10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.
11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.
15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.
17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

Ephesians 5:1-2: 1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.
2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Colossians 3:12-14: 12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

1 Peter 4:7-11: 7 The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.
8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:
11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Galatians 5:13-26: 13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,
21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.
26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Matthew 5:43-48: 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’”
44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Luke 6:27-36: 27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.
30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back.
31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.”
33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount.
35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.
36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

1 John 3:11-18: 11 For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
12 We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous.
13 Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.
14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death.
15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?
18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

Romans 13:8-10: 8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

1 Thessalonians 4:9-12: Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another,
10 for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more,
11 and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,
12 so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

2 John 1:5-6: 5 And now I ask you, dear lady—not as though I were writing you a new commandment, but the one we have had from the beginning—that we love one another.
6 And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it.

Proverbs 10:12-13: 12 Hatred stirs up strife,
but love covers all offenses.
13 On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found,
but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7: 6 Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.
7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.

1 Timothy 1:5-7: 5 The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
6 Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion,
7 desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15: For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died.
15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

Philippians 1:9-11: 9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment,
10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,
11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Hebrews 13:1-3: Let brotherly love continue.
2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
3 Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body.