“What the Bible Says About Premarital Relationships”

Premarital guidance in the Bible emphasizes the importance of establishing a strong foundation in faith, communication, and commitment. Scriptures such as Ephesians 5:22-33 highlight the principles of love, respect, and mutual submission between partners, encouraging couples to seek God’s wisdom in their relationship.

Couple-in-prayer-surrounded-by-open-Bible-symbolizing-faith-love-and-commitment-serene-atmosphe_fjoc

Scripture

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.
20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field.
21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:18-25

Premarital Guidance in the Bible

The broader meaning of understanding premarital guidance in the Bible encompasses the foundational principles that equip couples for a successful and godly marriage. Key biblical texts convey essential values such as love, respect, and mutual support. For instance, Ephesians 5:22-33 outlines the responsibilities of husbands and wives, presenting a model of headship and submission that is rooted in love and self-sacrifice. The call for wives to respect their husbands and for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church signifies a deep commitment to serving each other, which is crucial for navigating the complexities of marriage. This interdependence encourages couples to engage in open communication and shared spiritual growth, recognizing that their relationship should reflect Christ’s love and grace.

In addition to the principles of mutual respect and love, premarital guidance in the Bible also underscores the significance of seeking God’s will within the relationship. Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs believers to trust in the Lord and seek His guidance in all their ways, highlighting the importance of prayer and spiritual discernment in making decisions that affect their future together. Furthermore, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes the qualities of love that are vital in marriage: patience, kindness, and perseverance. Establishing a strong foundation built on these biblical principles prepares couples not just for the joys of married life, but also for weathering challenges, thus fostering a lifelong partnership that honors God and reflects His love.

The term “premarital” does not have a direct equivalent in ancient Greek, as it is a modern construct. However, if we break it down, “pre-” comes from the Latin “prae,” meaning “before,” and “marital” derives from the Latin “maritalis,” which relates to marriage. In the context of biblical studies, one might consider the Greek word for marriage, “γάμος” (gamos), which signifies the union or bond between spouses.

The etymology of “gamos” can be traced back to the Proto-Indo-European root *gʰem-, which means “to marry” or “to take a wife.” Scholars such as William Mounce in his “Mounce’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words” highlight that this term encompasses not only the act of marrying but also the broader social and covenantal implications of the marital relationship. The significance of “gamos” in biblical texts often reflects the theological understanding of marriage as a sacred covenant, which is foundational for discussions on premarital guidance.

In examining premarital guidance through the lens of biblical teachings, one can see that the principles surrounding “gamos” emphasize preparation, commitment, and the spiritual dimensions of marriage. Scholars like John Piper and Tim Keller have explored these themes, suggesting that a strong foundation in faith and mutual respect is essential for a successful marriage. Thus, while the term “premarital” itself may not have a direct Greek counterpart, the underlying concepts of preparation and commitment are deeply rooted in the biblical understanding of marriage.

The Importance of Commitment and Covenant

In biblical teachings, marriage is often depicted as a sacred covenant rather than merely a legal contract. This understanding emphasizes the significance of commitment, loyalty, and faithfulness between partners. Premarital guidance in this context encourages couples to recognize the depth of their vows and the spiritual implications of their union. It fosters a mindset that prioritizes long-term dedication over temporary feelings, urging couples to prepare for the challenges and joys of married life with a covenantal perspective.

The Role of Communication and Conflict Resolution

Effective communication is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, and biblical principles often highlight the importance of understanding and resolving conflicts. Premarital guidance rooted in scripture encourages couples to develop strong communication skills, emphasizing the need for honesty, empathy, and active listening. This preparation helps partners navigate disagreements constructively, fostering a relationship built on mutual respect and understanding, which is essential for a lasting marriage.

The Foundation of Shared Values and Spiritual Growth

Premarital guidance in the Bible also underscores the significance of shared values and spiritual growth within a marriage. Couples are encouraged to explore their beliefs, goals, and life priorities together, ensuring alignment in their spiritual journeys. This shared foundation not only strengthens their bond but also equips them to support one another in their faith, fostering a partnership that thrives on mutual encouragement and growth in their relationship with God.

How to Strengthen Your Faith for a Lasting Marriage

Strengthening your faith for a lasting marriage is a beautiful journey that intertwines your spiritual growth with your relationship. Start by making prayer a cornerstone of your daily routine, inviting God into your marriage and seeking His guidance in every decision. Engage in regular Bible study together, allowing the Word to shape your understanding of love, forgiveness, and commitment. Remember, it’s essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, fostering an environment where both of you can express your thoughts and feelings without fear. Attend church together, participate in community activities, and surround yourselves with other couples who share your values; this support system can be invaluable. Lastly, practice gratitude and appreciation for one another, recognizing that every small act of love is a reflection of God’s grace in your lives. By nurturing your faith together, you’ll not only strengthen your bond but also create a marriage that stands firm through life’s challenges.

Bible References to Premarital Guidance:

1 Corinthians 7:1-9: 1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.
7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.
9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Ephesians 5:22-33: 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
30 because we are members of his body.
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8: 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;
4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,
5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.
7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.
8 Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

Proverbs 18:22: 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.

Song of Solomon 2:7-17: 7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
8 The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes, leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag; behold, there he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.
11 For behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtle dove is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.
14 O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
15 Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.
16 My beloved is mine, and I am his; he grazes among the lilies.
17 Until the day breathes and the shadows flee, turn, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag on the cleft mountains.

Matthew 19:4-6: 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Hebrews 13:4: 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

1 Peter 3:1-7: 3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Colossians 3:18-19: 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20: 12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything.
13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.
15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!
16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.”
17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18: 14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?
16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.”
17 Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you,
18 and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

Proverbs 31:10-31: 10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

1 Timothy 5:1-2: 1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers,
2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

Titus 2:3-5: 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,
4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.