What the Bible Says About Desertion in Marriage

In the Bible, desertion in marriage refers to a situation where one spouse abandons the other, which can lead to the dissolution of the marital commitment. Specifically, 1 Corinthians 7:15 mentions that if an unbelieving partner leaves, the believing partner is not bound in such cases, indicating that abandonment can be a legitimate ground for separation or divorce.

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Scripture

10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband.
11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.
13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

1 Corinthians 7:10-16

Biblical Meaning of Desertion in Marriage

Desertion in marriage, as depicted in the Bible, embodies the profound implications of commitment and covenant between spouses. The concept underscores the mutual obligations outlined in Scripture, which prioritize fidelity, love, and unity. In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Paul emphasizes that married individuals should not separate, as marriage is a sacred covenant instituted by God. However, the acknowledgment of desertion signifies an understanding of human failings and the complexities of relational dynamics. When one spouse chooses to abandon the marriage, particularly in the context of an unbelieving partner leaving, it highlights a breach of the marital covenant that can be irreparable.

Beyond the legalistic aspect of desertion, the Bible suggests that such actions reflect deeper spiritual issues. For instance, in Matthew 19:8, Jesus reveals that the allowance for divorce due to hardness of heart underscores the importance of compassion and understanding in relationships. Desertion not only symbolizes physical abandonment but also emotional and spiritual disengagement. The belief that the believing spouse is “not bound” in such instances, as noted in 1 Corinthians 7:15, speaks to the broader theological premise that God desires wholeness and peace within relationships. In essence, while the act of desertion may lead to practical considerations for separation, it ultimately calls for reflection on the nature of love, promises, and faithfulness that are central to enduring marital bonds.

Expounding on the topic of desertion in marriage according to biblical principles, one can find further insights in the Old Testament, where marriage is often framed as a sacred union intended for partnership and mutual support. The book of Malachi highlights God’s disdain for divorce, stating that He hates it because it breaks the covenant made before Him. This perspective reinforces the foundational belief within Scripture that marriage is more than a mere social contract; it is a divine covenant that embodies trust, loyalty, and commitment. When desertion occurs, it not only disrupts the intended purpose of marriage but also signifies a failure to uphold the sacred vows exchanged before God.

Moreover, the Bible also provides insights on the restoration of relationships and the importance of forgiveness, emphasizing that while desertion can lead to pain and separation, it doesn’t have to be the final word in a couple’s journey. In the context of the prophetic literature, God often uses the metaphor of an unfaithful spouse to describe Israel’s infidelity towards Him. This imagery indicates that while the act of desertion may complicate the covenant, there remains the possibility of reconciliation and healing. The call to forgive and the pursuit of reconciliation resonate throughout Scripture, illustrating the belief that God’s grace can mend what has been broken, urging couples to consider the transformative power of love and redemption in their relationships. Thus, understanding desertion through this lens reveals a more profound spiritual underpinning, highlighting the inviolability of marital bonds and the hope for restoration amidst human imperfection.

The Sanctity of Marriage

Desertion in marriage, as understood through biblical principles, underscores the sanctity and commitment inherent in the marital covenant. The Bible emphasizes that marriage is a sacred union ordained by God, where both partners are called to love, support, and remain faithful to one another. Desertion, therefore, represents a breach of this sacred commitment, highlighting the importance of loyalty and the serious implications of abandoning one’s spouse. This concept serves as a reminder that marriage is not merely a social contract but a divine covenant that requires mutual dedication and respect.

The Call to Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Another broader meaning of desertion in marriage is the biblical call to forgiveness and reconciliation. While desertion can lead to separation, the Bible encourages couples to seek restoration and healing in their relationships. The teachings of Jesus and the apostles often focus on the importance of forgiveness, urging individuals to work through conflicts and challenges rather than resorting to abandonment. This perspective emphasizes that even in the face of desertion, there is an opportunity for grace, healing, and the possibility of rebuilding the relationship through love and understanding.

The Consequences of Broken Relationships

Desertion in marriage also reflects the broader consequences of broken relationships, both spiritually and emotionally. The Bible teaches that when a marriage is abandoned, it can lead to significant pain and suffering for both partners and any children involved. This notion highlights the ripple effects of desertion, which can extend beyond the immediate couple to impact families and communities. The biblical narrative often illustrates the importance of maintaining healthy relationships and the detrimental effects that separation can have on individuals’ spiritual lives, emphasizing the need for accountability and support within the community to uphold the sanctity of marriage.

How to Embrace Forgiveness and Foster Reconciliation in Faith

Embracing forgiveness and fostering reconciliation in our faith journey is not just a noble aspiration; it’s a transformative practice that can deeply enrich our spiritual lives. As we reflect on the teachings of Jesus, particularly in passages like Matthew 6:14-15, we are reminded that our willingness to forgive others is intricately linked to our own experience of God’s grace. Start by acknowledging the hurt and pain you may feel, but don’t let it fester; instead, bring it to God in prayer, asking for the strength to forgive. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning the wrongs done to us, but rather releasing the burden of resentment that weighs us down. As you cultivate a heart of forgiveness, seek opportunities for reconciliation, whether through a heartfelt conversation or a simple act of kindness. This journey may be challenging, but it’s also incredibly rewarding, as it not only heals relationships but also draws us closer to the heart of Christ, who exemplified perfect forgiveness on the cross. Embrace this path with an open heart, and watch how it transforms not just your relationships, but your entire walk of faith.

Bible References to Desertion in Marriage:

Matthew 19:3-9: 3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”
8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Malachi 2:13-16: 13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.
2 Yet you say, “Why?” Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
2 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.
16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

1 Corinthians 7:1-9: 1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.
7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.
9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Romans 7:1-3: 1 Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives?
2 For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.
3 Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4: 1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,”
2 And when she departs out of his house, she goes and becomes another man’s wife,
3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife,
4 her first husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.

Mark 10:2-12: 2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?”
4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.”
5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.
6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’
7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,’
8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.
9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter.
11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,
12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

1 Peter 3:1-7: 3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Ephesians 5:22-33: 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
30 because we are members of his body.
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Matthew 5:31-32: 31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’
32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.